Funny and Odd Thoughts

Who Would Send the Blind Guy?

Went out to eat at Uno’s tonight.  Went to the bathroom and saw that they had a baby changing station in the men’s room.  Nothing too unusual there.

Then I noticed that it had braille instructions – or that I assume are instructions – on the outside of it. 

Now, I’m hoping that the observation I’m about to make won’t be so politically incorrect that I’m going to get screamed and yelled at, BUT…

This is a place where you basically NEED to drive to get to.  If you go to dinner at there with someone who is blind and you have a child with you who is still in diapers and that child needs to be changed…

Who the hell would send the blind guy to do it?  Seriously.  Think about it.

I’m sure he COULD do it – as in he’s capable – and I’m sure he WOULD do it if he had to.  And if it is his child, he probably WANTS to do it.  But even with all of that, who would send the guy who CAN’T SEE to change the kid in a RESTAURANT? 

I have a ton of respect for people who live with disabilities, especially those that so often affect people from birth, like deafness and blindness.  Many of them overcome their hardships and go on to accomplish more in their lives than those of us with our full capabilities could ever do. 

But man, if you’re going out to eat and you’re blind, you’ve probably made a pretty decent sized effort to get there – taken a bus or had someone drive you, probably used a cane or had someone help you to find your way through doors and to your seat.  If, after all of that, someone sticks you with changing the baby’s crap-filled diaper, you gotta get yourself some new friends or something.

Film

March of the Depression

Just finished watching March of the Penguins.  Holy crap, what a depressing film.  I mean, it is fascinating and amazingly photographed and is truly a captivating film… but damn, you gotta feel for these poor penguins.

Back and forth… back and forth… tromp through the snow and ice to meet a female.  Then the egg comes and the female splits to go eat.  Then she comes back as the chicks are being hatched and they regurgitate some food into the new born penguin’s mouths.  There’s a welcome wagon for ‘ya: "break out of your shell so that you can see the vast wasteland of ice and snow that will be your home."  What about food?  "No sorry – you gotta eat this white phlegm-y stuff that your parents keep stored in their mouths.  Oh, and stay close, since, you know, its like 80 degrees below zero and the wind goes up to 100 miles an hour.  One last thing: once you get old enough, we dump you and then you get to do this 70 mile journey to get laid yourself"

Like I said – depressing.  The movie makes a good argument against the "intelligent" part of intelligent design and makes a good case for evolution: mainly that this is exactly WHY we evolve!!

Music

Trans-Whatsian Whosestrea?

It amazes me how many people still don’t know who the Trans-Siberian Orchestra is. 

Not you too.  How dare a reader of my blog not know who they are!

Ok, first of all, just go to their web site, and listen to the music in their intro and you might recognize them.   If not that, you may know them as the band who did the hard rock version of "Carol of the Bells," the real name of which is " Christmas Eve/Sarajevo 12/24."  (the song is now my ring-back tone on my cell phone) I remember hearing this song years ago on the radio and trying like hell to find out who it is.  I finally picked up the CD "Christmas Eve and Other Stories" and quickly fell in love with it.

Somewhere along the way, my parents heard it and they loved it as well.  Now they are possibly bigger fans of them than even I am. 

Seriously – if you want some different but beautiful holiday music, please give TSO a try.  It is emotional, powerful, visceral music.

And if you ever get a chance to see them live – DO IT!  WOW!  This was my third time seeing them, and the fist time in an arena.  Amazing stuff!!  The lightshow was breathtaking  – definitely the best I have seen since Pink Floyd.   The entire light rig moved – a LOT, from stage to roof of the arena – and the light show was perfectly timed to the music, which is tough, since the music is fast with a lot of stop-and-starts and quick blasts of music. 

In the first half of the show they played all of  "Christmas Eve and Other Stories" and  in the second half of the show, they featured an assortment of tunes from other  albums, an unreleased album, and a few cover songs (one of which is still bothering me.  They played it right after Led Zepplin’s "Rock n’ Roll").  During the second half, they pulled out the pyros – flame throwers that put Rob Zombie, KISS, and Ozzy (Combined!) to shame – and massive spark showers.   It was a little freak at first, considering RI’s track record with concert pyrotechnics.

All in all, a visually breathtaking show and a musicall satisfying one.  I even got to see Alex Skolnick, formerly of Testament, play Christmas songs.   During a quiet moment of the show while he was tooling around with an acoustic guitar, I came very close to yelling out "PLAY INTO THE PIT!" but couldn’t bring myself to do it.  If only John, Lynn and Erock had been there, I probably would have done it!

Travel

The World’s Tallest Buildings

Do you know where the world’s tallest buildings are?

If there’s any doubt that China is a major rising global power, here’s your proof:

http://skyscraperpage.com/diagrams/?1241105

Five of the 10 tallest buildings in the world are in China, all of them built since 1992.   The tallest building in the world is in Taipei, Taiwan; the second and third tallest are in Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia (they count the two towers seperately here); and then there’s the United States, with the Sears Tower (built in 1974) coming in at #4 and the Empire State Building (built in 1931) at #9.   The remainder of the top 10 are all in China.

If you group the Malaysian and Taiwanese in with the Chinese, then Asia accounts for 8 of the 10 tallest buildings in the world, with all of them built since 1992.  That is a real wake up call for how the world economy is changing.  Look at this page and see how many of the tallest buildings are in the Eastern, not Western hemisphere. 

Marketing

Just what is a valued customer anyway?

I recently purchased a gift for my friends’ son’s first birthday from OneShare.com.  It was a very good experience shopping with them and they produced a quality product that I was very happy with.  I wholeheartedly reccomend them for anyone looking for a different gift for nearly any occassion.

However, they just did something today that annoyed me.  Nothing too big, but just one of those stupid little things that drives me nuts both as a consumer and a marketer.  I received a letter from them with a special offer for "Our Valued Customers."   I bought ONE thing from you and I’m a "valued" customer?  If that’s the case, I feel kind of bad for them.  Me buying one item one time shouldnt’ make me a valued customer.  Steven Tyler and Chapstick; Gene Simmons and toungue scrapers; Michael Jackson and daycares… now those are frequent and "valued" customers.

This post is made with apologies to Idiot Letters by Paul Rosawho inspired it.  Read the book. Its friggin’ hilarious.

Music

I don’t believe this happened

So I thought that Saturday night’s Aerosmith show was as much of a perfect set list as they could play on this tour.   However, check out the show that they played in Providence tonight:

01. Helter Skelter
02. Walk This Way
03. Same Old Song and Dance
04. Cryin’
05. Livin’ On The Edge
06. No More No More
07. Jaded
08. Shakin’ My Cage
09. Sweet Emotion
10. Seasons Of Wither
11. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing
12. Dream On
13. Lord Of The Thighs
14. Kings And Queens
15. Baby Please Don’t Go
16. Train Kept A Rollin’ (Slow)
Encore:
17. Back In The Saddle
18. Draw The Line

That makes me sick.   They played Kings and Queens.  Granted, it is only one song different, but what a song to have in there.  That is my last favorite Aerosmith song that I would love to hear played live but haven’t yet.  I feel like I want to cry – they played it two night after I saw them, and they were only 15 miles away.

I almost went down there tonight to try to get a shirt, since I’ve missed getting one the last two shows.  I didn’t go since when I called the Dunkin Donuts center they said they didn’t have a stand set up in the lobby area where you don’t need a ticket to get in.  And I figured I would probably end up buying a ticket and spending the night there, and I’ve spent enough time and money on Aerosmith the last two weeks. 

Shoulda went…

Television

This Is to Blame For My Sense of Humor

So I’m just chillin’ at home on a Sunday night and I have the DVD set of The Muppet Show’s first season going and I am convinced that they are responsible for my love of corny puns and bad jokes.  There are so many great one liners and puns in this show. 

So the next time I tell a "groaner" or "knee slapper" you can thank the Muppets.

Music

Back in the Saddle

1 Comment

So I really had NO complaints about the Aerosmith concert at Mohegan Sun.  Unlike some of the other fan club members who were complaining on the club discussion boards about too much 80’s and 90’s stuff being played, I do like hearing "Dude Looks Like a Lady," "Rag Doll," "Janie’s Got a Gun," and "Love in an Elevator" since those are some of the songs that got me into the band in the first place.

However, even with that being said, last night’s show was amazing.  They played more older, "classic" tunes and jammed a lot more – more than I think I’ve ever seen them jam before.  Here’s the set list from last night’s show:

01. Helter Skelter
02. Walk This Way
03. Same Old Song and Dance
04. Cryin’
05. Livin’ On The Edge
06. No More No More
07. Jaded
08. Shakin’ My Cage
09. Sweet Emotion
10. Seasons Of Wither
11. I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing
12. Dream On
13. Lord Of The Thighs
14. Baby Please Don’t Go
15. The Other Side
16. Train Kept A Rollin’ (Slow)

Encore:

17. Back In The Saddle
18. Draw The Line

Yeah, Aerosmith OPENED the show with "Helter Skelter" – that was an unexpected surprise.  They do a great job with the song, though the audience got more excited once they went into "Walk This Way."   

When they started playing "Jaded" I just went "F**K!!!" and I thought John was going to bust a gut laughing.  I just didn’t need to hear that song last night – that is one new song that I can do without hearing – that and "I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing" of course…  The first part of the set had  me a little nervous that they were going to go back to the set of the opening night – which again was fine with me, but I was there to hear some of the other songs they had thrown in the mix since then – and the second half lived up to it.

Any Aerosmith show that has "No More No More," "Seasons of Wither," "Lord of the Thighs," "Train Kept A Rollin’," "Back in the Saddle," and "Draw the Line" in the set list is a GREAT one.  The energy was amazing, they did the best version of "Dream On" that I’ve ever heard them play, and the jams during "Baby Please Don’t Go" and "Lord of the Thighs" were awesome.  Great version of "Draw the Line" too – nice and tight with the slow part not too drawn out. 

Seats weren’t as good, but I’ve always also been a fan of being a little further away so you can take in the entire production and light show, as seen here:

Photo_111205_001

Current Affairs

Voting

I’m not a doctor, so I couldn’t save a life today

I’m not a policeman, so I couldn’t bring peace and safety to my hometown.

I’m not a teacher, so I couldn’t help children find their way.

And I’m not a fireman, so I couldn’t save someone’s home and memories.

I’m just an ordinary American who did something extraordinarly important.

I voted. 

Hope you did too.

Current Affairs

The Greatest Story Ever Told

Hee hee huh huh… this is categorized "current affairs"

Anyway – for those of you who didn’t hear, two Carolina Panthers Cheerleaders were allegedly caught having sex in a bar’s bathroom in Tampa, Florida.

I’m been to Tampa twice… but apparently not to the right places.  (though I did enjoy the company of several fine women at the rate of $20 for two songs…) 

Please join me in wishing, hoping and praying that this story is true.  It gives hope to mankind, it really does. 

You can read about it and see pictures of the girls that you can insert into you own fantasies at these sites:

Deadspin

Juicee News Daily