Hot Dog!

Why does this world need so many ways to cook a hot dog?  Specifically, why do we need so many specialized devices to cook hot dogs?  This really bothers me.  I like hot dogs as much as anyone, but if you’re eating them regularly enough that you need a dedicated kitchen appliance, then you may want to re-think your diet.

Think I’m kidding?  Looking through the recent issue of SkyMall on a recent flight, there were three for sale.  Here’s what a quick Google search turned up:

OK, first of all, methinks the guys at (its guys – check out the site.  Believe, its guys running that place) like hot dogs just a little TOO MUCH.

In any case, that is six specialized devices with the sole purpose of cooking hot dogs.  SIX! To cook a sausage product that can be wrapped in plastic wrap and cooked in a minute in the microwave.  Boiled or pan fried in about five.   

Most of these descriptions also talk about how there  is nothing better than a hot dog cooked on hot rollers.  Seriously – a quote is "the great taste of stadium-style hot dogs."  Have any of these people actually paid attention to what the hot dogs taste like at stadiums?  They are disgusting.  The only reason you think they taste good is because you just paid $100 to be crammed into a bleacher seat in either scorchingly hot sun or freezing-cold wind and you’re gonna enjoy that hot dog no matter what.   And no one buys the hot dogs at a 7-Eleven because they want to – its because they are deadly hungry and need a food-like product NOW.  Those hot dogs have more miles on them than a Lance Armstrong bicycle and taste like his seat does at the end of the Tour De France.  Why would anyone want to recreate this at home?

Google also revealed a link for an article about a in-car hot dog maker.  God, I wish it still existed, since that would ROCK!  I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve been driving along going "I wish I had a hot dog right now.  Or even better… be able to cook one!"

However, if cooking your lips, hoof and rectum-filled intestinal skin rockets (I even made myself gag with that) over electric heat isn’t your thing, then may I suggest this battery-operated stadium hot dog griller.  All the entertainment of rolling hot dogs without the convenience of not having to stand over them!  Whee!!

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