Saw War of the Worlds last night… I thought it was an entertaining summer flick, but with two major problems: One, the ending just sucks. All of a sudden things start to go right and we’re given a half-assed explanation of what happened to the aliens and all the loose ends are tied up without any explnation.
Second, the flim falls into the usual unnecessary "emotional" sub plots that plague so many action flicks. Really, the whole "estranged father" bit that Tom Cruise plays adds NOTHING to the film. Give it a break already. A father trying to save his family from the world being annihilated is dramatic enough – we don’t need to have something else going on to distract from the film’s main plot and action.
Other than that, the film is entertaining with some great cinematography, awesome special effects and some legitimately scary scenes, especially when they show people getting vaporized – borderline gruesome, actually. I can’t wait to see it on DVD and crank it up on the home theater system. A bonus of watching it that way is that you don’t have to put up with audience members…
NOTE: the rest of this post will be a scathing, scorching, expletitive-ridden rant about some of the morons in the audience. If you are sensitve to "adult language" then you may want to surf away to somewhere else… now.
So last night we get into the theater, which was one of the more crowded shows I’ve been to in a while. It was a Friday night on a long holiday weekend, two days after the movie opened. I wish I had waited… then maybe the fucking assholes who were in there last night would have fucking seen the movie and not come the fuck back. The first thing I wanted to do when the movie ended was to go around and bitch-slap everyone – HARD – who had a cell phone on during the movie. Let’s get this straight – YOU ARE SIXTEEN YEARS OLD – YOU ARE NOT SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT YOU NEED TO BE TALKING ON A CELL PHONE DURING A MOVIE!!! Give it a fucking break, you goddamn idiots. Do you really think that ANYONE there thinks you are the least bit cool because you have a cell phone? Everyone fucking has one. And I can assure you that NO ONE thinks that you’re really badass for using it in a movie theater. In fact, all you did was appear to be a complete and total idiot who can’t handle the most basic human interactions, proving that you should have the phone taken away from you, be stripped naked, and put into a cage with dog food and water.
The worst part is that now that cell phones have brightly back- lit colored screens, it isn’t jus the sound that bothers people – it is the fucking light as well. Phone rings… they open their phone… and all of a sudden, from ten rows away, you can see this glowing light illuminating some asshole’s face. Fuck ’em. They should have their cell phone stuffed up their asses. Cages are too good.
If you answr a cell phone in a movie theater, the next thing you should do is go running out to your car so you can perform the emergency heart by-pass surgery that only you can do, or to the side of a dying family member. That is it. Otherwise, put the fucking cell phone on vibrate, and ignore it for two hours, you fucking morons.
It really did hurt the atmosphere of the movie – tense scenes punctuated with sound of chit-chat, ring tones and beaming lights from the becons of idocy. It ended up making the mood TOO light as well, meaning that people were laughing too much at too many scenes.
Then after the movie ended, some asshole in the upper rows thew an ALMOST emtpy drink cup across the seats towards the front… I don’t think they were even targeting anyone – they just thought they would be the shit if they did that. Instead, they are just shitheads with shit for brains that should be shit upon.
Thanks a lot assholes… I hope you all get fucking cancer from your cell phones and your goddamn ears fall off when you turn 25.