I Scream When I Open My Front Door Only Because I’m Practicing For When I Win

I have a dirty secret to share with everyone.  It is a dark, nasty secret and I can’t believe I am putting it out there for everyone to see… I love entering Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.

There, I said it.

I love the crazy ways they come up with you to go looking for the right stamps to put in the right place, and how good they are making documents look official, top secret and really really important.  If I ever got something that looked like that at work and it was for real, I would be scared shitless.  I would pack my office up and leave before I opened it.

Then there is the stuff they sell.  In case you haven’t looked at a PCH (yeah, we’re down like that) entry in a while, they really don’t do magazines very much any more. Instead it is a repository of old pre-recorded VHS tapes of various country singers and spiritually-uplifting TV movies (occasionally they will have some sort of "Better Sex" video series too, which is odd), "as seen on TV" mail order stuff, no-name knock offs and items that they couldn’t even sell at Ocean State Job Lot.  One in a while they will have something marginally useful…  I got a great LED flashlight and a handy little battery storage box from them.  But that’s about it.  It has the same "hope I find a real gem" type of appeal that scouring the bargin bin does at your local thrift store.

It makes me wonder how many people have housefuls of this stuff in hopes of winning. And who those people are.  And how many of them live in fear of their trailer being picked up by a tornado.  And how much of it ends up on Ebay.

Regardless, every time I get an entry I dutifully fill out, peel, lick, and stamp everything I need to so that I too may – MAY – be winner.  Its like gambling with  39 s cent stamp. And it is more fun than hitting the slots.  Until I win, I’ll just be answering my front door with a big "OH MY GAWWWD!" just in case.